Duck Dodgers in the 21st Century
by Rinne
Summary: Lunch at a lake with ducks makes for an interesting afternoon and proves Sam right. COMPLETE


Title: Duck Dodgers in the 21st Century  
Rating: PG-13  
Genre: Gen  
Spoilers: None  
Disclaimer: Own nothing, not being paid  
Word count: 864  
A/N: Written as a comment fic from a prompt by pdragon. Unbetaed, so any mistakes non-Americanisms are mine.

Summary: Lunch at a lake with ducks makes for an interesting afternoon - and proves Sam right.

It only went to show what Sam had been trying to get through Dean's thick skull for months: leaving the car windows down when they weren't in it was just plain stupid.

The lake certainly wasn't the prettiest he'd seen, Sam ruminated as he munched on his pre-packaged egg and lettuce sandwich. But, it was something other than roads and buildings and basements and attics and graveyards, so he definitely wouldn't complain. He broke off a piece of the second sandwich and tossed it to the foraging duck population. Three dived for it at the one time and he couldn't tell who was victorious, it was swallowed so fast.

There were a lot of ducks, both out on the water and on land. Some had ducklings, presenting a picture perfect enough for Hallmark. He watched a duck stand up high in the water and flap its wings, before settling back to a sedate swim.

The ducks had gradually gotten closer as they'd eaten their lunch, thanks to Sam's kind nature and the fact that neither he nor Dean had moved very much, other than Dean's ungraceful sprawl backwards onto the ground. Dean's left arm was over his eyes and he seemed very much asleep. There were ducks only a few feet to the left of Dean and, grinning slightly, Sam started laying a literal path of bread crumbs. Three chunks of his sandwich was all it took before a duck was eating a piece of bread off Dean's stomach.

Dean had tried to swat the bug that he thought was bothering him, when Sam dropped the piece of bread, but the duck bill poking at his midriff was definitely enough to wake him with a start and a "Holy shit" when he saw the duck right beside him. It freaked out and flapped backwards and away as Sam laughed his ass off at Dean. Dean retaliated by pushing Sam to the ground and sitting on his stomach as he threw the rest of Sam's lunch away. Four ducks fought over it as Sam mourned his lost food.

Three minutes later, Sam had stopped laughing and pushed Dean off back onto the ground.

"It's on, it's so totally on," Dean muttered, his tone more mock annoyed than actual annoyed.

"Oooohhh, I'm so scared."

"You will be."

Dean abruptly got up from the ground and started walking back up the hill to the Impala, and Sam reluctantly rolled into a sitting position. A few seconds later, he was catching up to his brother and falling into stride beside him.

They opened the car doors in tandem and climbed in. Sam turned around in the seat to reach behind him for the jacket he'd thrown over earlier only to find an intruder eyeing his hand rather evilly.

"Jesus!" he yelled, quickly withdrawing his hand from its range.

"What? What?" Dean demanded, as he squirmed around in his seat to look behind him.

In the middle of the backseat, a duck sat with three baby ducklings, giving them an evil glare.

"Son of a bitch." Dean's voice was unbelieving and not yet pissed. "Son of a BITCH!" That was more the tone Sam had been expecting, and when he looked on the floor he saw what had probably triggered it. Duck droppings: lots of them.

Dean's door was ripped open and he was out of the car, furiously opening the door behind his. He reached in and the adult duck honked and quacked evilly and snapped at him, causing Dean to recoil.

"Out of my car, now!" He gestured, emphatically to the ground beside the car, but the duck didn't take any notice. Reaching forward only elicited the previous reaction. "Sam, grab the babies," Dean ordered.

"Are you insane?" Sam climbed out of the passenger seat and opened the other door, but didn't make any other move towards the ducks. "Uh uh." He shook his head. "I'm not going near them."

"Just," Dean waved wildly, "grab the babies, okay?"

He suddenly darted forward, reaching into the car towards the duck's babies. The adult duck reacted predictably, trying to attack Dean's hands and protect its young. Dean persisted, and eventually the duck flapped forward and chased him out of the car, leaving its babies sitting exposed in the middle of the seat. Considering the fact that Dean was risking life and limb to protect _his_ baby, Sam decided to follow his orders. Moments later he was scrambling backwards as the mother duck chased after him.

He ran back to the car and slammed shut the back door, before getting into the front passenger seat and slamming its door shut. He quickly wound the window up and noticed that Dean had done the same.

"Do you think it was possessed?" Dean asked breathlessly. "Possessed duck shit is going to be so much harder to clean up then non-possessed duck shit." He patted the dashboard. "Baby, I'm so _so_ sorry."

Sam couldn't help it, he laughed. In doing so, he'd probably doomed himself to clean up duty, but he really didn't care. He'd have the memories of Dean being chased by a duck to see him through. It was worth it. 


End file.
